when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
