Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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