I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
