problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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