You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
