One girl and one boy is just not enough.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
