we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize