You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize