fuck your aforementioned shoe
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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