If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
