we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
