4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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