My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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