me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
