I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
