So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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