and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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