he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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