its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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