pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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