It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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