Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
it's not cheating when I paid for it
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
