Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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