I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
