i need an iv and a liver transplant
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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