Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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