Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I smell like Dick and happiness
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