Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
