cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
two words: eviction party
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
