When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
