i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
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The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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