He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
