Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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