Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i came on her dog
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
