so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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