but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
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I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
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Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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