I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize