i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
