is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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