Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
