No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Small penises have feelings too.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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