that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
