Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
