Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
