MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
