Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR