Texts From Last Night

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.

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  (574): its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes. http://tfl.nu/wfzo
  Replies (68) Good night (3821) Bad night (2048)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

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  (704): It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/euqx
  Replies (6) Good night (2070) Bad night (1027)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.

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  (509): You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed. http://tfl.nu/gs8p
  Replies (7) Good night (1334) Bad night (1014)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.

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  (615): A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning. http://tfl.nu/fh1x
  Replies (5) Good night (1536) Bad night (821)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?

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  (260): how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'? http://tfl.nu/cg25
  Replies (10) Good night (1642) Bad night (567)
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  (544): View more from

  I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.

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  (544): I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling. http://tfl.nu/vpgy
  Replies (10) Good night (1809) Bad night (880)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.

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  (504): From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra. http://tfl.nu/w04v
  Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (1176)
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  (714): View more from California

  Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.

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  (714): Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying. http://tfl.nu/nfjo
  Replies (4) Good night (739) Bad night (441)
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  (347): View more from New York

  ....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....

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  (347): ....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat.... http://tfl.nu/8yb6
  Replies (4) Good night (384) Bad night (704)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights

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  (602): I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights http://tfl.nu/puqx
  Replies (9) Good night (1390) Bad night (446)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money

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  (325): Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money http://tfl.nu/w1qk
  Replies (1) Good night (523) Bad night (368)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Like alphabetically I'd say a v

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  (413): Where are you on a scale from one to wasted? (508): Like alphabetically I'd say a v http://tfl.nu/0aex
  Replies (2) Good night (1165) Bad night (379)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.

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  (713): Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face. http://tfl.nu/94fq
  Replies (1) Good night (356) Bad night (573)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car

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  (336): Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car http://tfl.nu/u9oi
  Replies (3) Good night (1106) Bad night (258)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.

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  (608): First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong. http://tfl.nu/vr09
  Replies (1) Good night (539) Bad night (128)

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