She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
