nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.