I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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