So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
