Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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