my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
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as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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