you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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