her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
