This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
