The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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