He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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