I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize