Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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