Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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