i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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